A Discussion on The Issue of Being Ready For a Relationship

Did you happen to catch the Bachelor finale recently? Sure, sure, men, we know it is primarily a woman's viewing preference, and we do not expect you to watch it too, but let me give you the rundown on it, because you can learn something as well as the gals. Here's the scene before us:
An appealing man, about twenty five, fairly good looking, and to the casual observer, reasonably intelligent. For a period of more than six weeks, the bachelor "dates" these ladies, getting rid of a couple of them at a time until he's left with two. By this stage, he's satisfied their family and friends and they've satisfied his, and he just has to make that final choice between the two. Easy, correct?

Well not this time. On the final day, he tells one girl he's sorry, but she's just not the one for him, great catch that she'd be for some lucky guy. We all expect him to take the remaining lady in his arms, pull her to him and romantically propose to her. There we are - all waiting with baited breath, just - most assuredly - as she must have been, for this obvious fairy-tale ending to occur. But to our huge shock, he tells her he just does not "really feel" the way he needs to about her, either!

Wow! Water cooler and coffee break discussions have flowed forth in abundance since that episode aired, and what conclusions can we derive from it all? Mainly that he's just crazy, and not prepared for a relationship. I mean, how many lovely and sensible young ladies need to be brought before this guy before he takes advantage of the opportunity to seriously date one of them? That brings us to our subject of the moment:

Are you asking yourself, "Am I Ready For A Relationship?

We all want to discover that special someone; it is inherent to our nature. Occasionally though, we place up roadblocks, not even realizing that we're our own worst enemy. One great way to discover whether or not you're ready for a relationship is to examine your relationship patterns.
One. What type of individual do you choose to be in a relationship with?

You would believe everyone's solution would be, "Someone who is great for me and tends to make me really feel great about myself". That is not usually the situation though, is it? Often, in some unexplainable and probably unconscious way, we choose individuals who are not great matches for us, individuals who make our bad routines and patterns simpler for us to achieve.

For instance, you might have been mentally abused by a mother or father in the past, and through your motivation of still seeking their approval, you date someone who is similar to that mother or father in the hopes of rectifying the past. Sorry, but that's just not going to happen. Forming a clear picture of what exactly you do seek will help move you much closer to your desired answer to, "Am I Ready For A Relationship?"

Two. How much baggage are you truly carrying around?

Is it a carry-on bag, or is it one of these large suitcases you can fit a St. Bernard dog into? We often do not resolve problems from our past relationships before we jump into the next one, expecting that it is certainly going to be better simply because you're with someone different. Wrong! Previous relationships need to be left in the past, and the problems and concerns and issues that may have contributed to that relationship going sour, need to be settled before proceeding onto a new relationship. It is extremely essential to invest time by and on yourself in between relationships to recharge your batteries, so to speak. You need to get your self confidence restored and to reach a place where you are pleased with yourself and to be on your own before you invite someone into your life. Get to that point and you are real close to claiming your need for a relationship, as well as accepting your being ready for a relationship.

Three. How do you really feel about yourself - how do you see yourself?

Do you ever say, "if only I could find that special individual to make me feel complete, then everything would be okay?" Well. guess what, there very probably is no special someone like that. We need to understand how to become satisfyingly whole and complete from within ourselves. A fantastic relationship is not about getting what the other individual is lacking (even though we can help one another see what that is).

Rather, it is about two powerful and functioning individuals combining harmoniously together to enrich each others' lives. You will by no means discover what you believe you're lacking in another individual, and it is unrealistic (not to mention unfair), to expect that of another human being. If you have problems liking yourself, you are not in a healthy position to nurture a relationship, then you will need to focus on getting your self-confidence up. In a nutshell, you can do this by figuring out what you want in life for yourself and becoming the creator of your own destiny. There are tons of publications to help you to do that and treatment can also be a good choice. Taking positive action here will clear your final hurdle and enable you to answer your pending question, "am I ready for a relationship."

I urge you to bust out of your previous misguided patterns and bad routines, do some in-depth soul-searching and learn how to love and respect yourself. It is the very best way that you can discover the means to attract and keep someone who is a great match for you.
Categories : Love Relationship

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